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Almost a Daily Check-In

 Is it an excuse? Or is it truth? I ask these questions a lot. To everyone, including myself. Right now? I'm double checking with myself, regarding my daily posting.  See, I don't want to post on Shabbat. Honestly, there are a lot  of things I'd like to do, or not do, for Shabbat. But, I can be... unmotivated. So, was not posting yesterday because I am trying to have respect for the holiday, or is it because I am simply on the verge of lingering depression (exhaustion, un-motivated, a tad hopeless...) A lack of motivation doesn't mean laziness. I am still extremely busy, even when I'm not moving. (Busy worrying, planning, ruminating.) I am doing everything in my power to fight the depressed feeling. I've showered, I napped, I'm journaling, I went outside for a walk, I ate food, etcetera...  Knowing that I am doing what I need to, in order to take care of my mental health, I do believe that not posting on Shabbat was a conscious choice— Not one made out of de...
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Cold As Ice, Or Riddled With Anxiety?

​I lie awake in bed, for the first few moments, shivering. Why is this information important? Well, I’ll explain—and hopefully it’ll make sense.  Now, as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve stopped taking my medication. I think this is day 6. In doing so, I’ve started thinking more clearly— remembering my “tools.” If you’re wondering what “tools” are, we’ll get to that in a minute. First, back to the shivering.  The cold.  The pile of blankets atop me, along with a long sleeve, sweater and sweats, were doing absolutely nothing for me. Or so I thought.  I mean, yes, it is almost winter. Our nights drop into the 40s. For most people, that might not be bothersome, but let’s be honest here— I’m a little extra, and most definitely sensitive. So, if the cozy clothes and pile of blankets aren’t helping, then…  Could it possibly be that my chill comes from within?  4 years ago I was in the middle of my pregnancy. I was also going through a divorce, trying to find a safe an...
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Daily Check-In

 So... Hello, again. If you've taken the time to peruse my other blogging site, you may have noticed that I have written a few posts in the past. To be completely transparent, I forget to continue. Or, there is the elusive depression. When it rears it's ugly head, I tend to have moments where I lose myself.  Sometimes, I feel as if I've become lost in the abyss-- Even though I am right here, my avatar, in the flesh, in real-time.  It actually, very well may be my ADHD. I get  extremely  overwhelmed and overstimulated. This is seeming, more and more, to be the root cause for my anxiety and depression. It's been nearly 7 years since I started going to therapy, and I am just now focusing on the ADHD. I think, when I started therapy, that I was just so focused on my depression. Which, honestly, with all that I've been through, makes perfect sense. It even explains some of the anxiety.  For me, I see these "diagnosis" as a challenge to overcome. I don't nec...
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