Almost a Daily Check-In

 Is it an excuse? Or is it truth? I ask these questions a lot. To everyone, including myself. Right now? I'm double checking with myself, regarding my daily posting. 

See, I don't want to post on Shabbat. Honestly, there are a lot of things I'd like to do, or not do, for Shabbat. But, I can be... unmotivated. So, was not posting yesterday because I am trying to have respect for the holiday, or is it because I am simply on the verge of lingering depression (exhaustion, un-motivated, a tad hopeless...)

A lack of motivation doesn't mean laziness. I am still extremely busy, even when I'm not moving. (Busy worrying, planning, ruminating.)

I am doing everything in my power to fight the depressed feeling. I've showered, I napped, I'm journaling, I went outside for a walk, I ate food, etcetera... 

Knowing that I am doing what I need to, in order to take care of my mental health, I do believe that not posting on Shabbat was a conscious choice—Not one made out of depression or exhaustion. 

Keeping my faith, and delving deeper into my spirituality, I am finding, are both necessary and wanted. I hope that this need continues. I have a feeling that if I start going to synagogue / temple frequently, I'll start to feel more normal—like myself again. Maybe I won't feel so worn all the time. I'll find a healthy community. 

That's my goal: Go back to weekly services, and possible Tuesday's Lunch & Learn at the Chabad. 

Talk (type) to you tomorrow. 

X

Location: 400 Broad St, Seattle, WA 98109, USA

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